VICIOUS TO VIRTUOUS (V2V) FREE ONLINE RECOVERY PROGRAMME FROM SEX AND PORN ADDICTION - Module 6 Common Triggers for Sex Addiction and Porn Addiction - Part A -2 Events - Life Transitions
Contact us using the form below or call us on 07711 887391.
Please Note: Do not send your partner's or someone else's details without their knowledge. This is a breach of trust and also unlawful use of their personal data. Please call if you are worried about someone or need help yourself and I can advise you of the best course of action.
VICIOUS TO VIRTUOUS (V2V) FREE ONLINE RECOVERY PROGRAMME FROM SEX AND PORN ADDICTION - Module 6 Common Triggers for Sex Addiction and Porn Addiction - Part A - Events - Life Transitions
What is this section about?
- how unplanned, unpleasant or poorly managed transitions can result in trauma-based negative experiences which are the causal factors for addiction
- in assessment, addicts often dismiss the question about trauma experiences (usually as an unconscious avoidance or denial mechanism to dissociate from painful memories) so this meta view of transitions is intended as a guide to possible causal influences of adult addiction
Life Transitions - introduction
Many writers on psychology and therapy have presented theories based around life's journey and the stages within it. Freud's psychosexual stages and Erikson's Eight Stages of Man are notable examples. There is a 'stages of marriage' model noting how relationships evolve over time and of course we would all recognise the oft-quoted triad of transitions consisting of starting school, starting work and starting retirement. What we miss as lay people going though these transitions is their impact upon us. Clients, for example, are apt to file these experiences away as just something else that happens without reflecting on the formative or modifying effect of these changes on them.
In the sub-text of life however there are dozens of other transitional experiences that can leave a scar, small or larger, that individually or in combination can have a lasting negative impact on our emotional or psychological health. More commonly experienced are bereavement of close others, moving locations and homes, job changes, new and ending relationships, starting a family whilst the less considered include own or others' changes in health, children leaving home, moving schools or having a new boss. There are many other seemingly insignificant transitions or changes in addition to these the effects of which we inclined to minimise in our quest to 'move on'.
In short, our lives might be seen as a chain of macro changes (getting married, having children and retirement for example) to which many other micro changes are hooked on. In my work as a sex addiction treatment therapist an exploration of the macro chain of transition events yields rich data about potential antecedents for addictive patterns. Data which is made more complex by the unique and divergent micro experiences of individuals. Some transitional experiences are pre-disposing causal factors - they have set an individual up as someone who as an adult is prone to seek out self-soothing behaviours to manage difficult times and setbacks. An addict who self-soothes with pornography when triggered by feelings of loneliness and isolation which became significant at a young age when dad left home after separation of his parents. Other transitions might have a re-enactment quality about them - the individual has children and this triggers a need for an escapist use of eroticised sexting to self-soothe feelings of isolation as he is no longer the centre of his partner's attention. Whilst yet other transitions might be maintenance factors in that they re-ignite periodic needs for a behaviour such as compulsive masturbation which helps to self-medicate feelings of insecurity and vulnerability.
Many transition experiences of course are natural and expected. Many are coped well with by most of us most of the time. Traumatic transitions are often those characterised by their sudden occurrence where the individual is unprepared or lacks control and influence over what is happening. Multiple transitions create the perfect storm and form a concentrated mix of causal factors for anaesthetising sexual acting out. One client experienced retirement, illness of his own and for his partner, as well as a significant move to be nearer family and bereavement of a parent.
Many adults have well-developed coping skills and good executive functioning capabilities and will come through single and multiple changes relatively unscathed. Consider the effect on an 8 year old of parental separation, house and school moves co-occurring. In some cases, separation from significant others such as grand-parents, friends and even siblings exaggerate the trauma experience. Addult addicts learn to 'put this behind them' and are surprised at the idea that this period in their lives set them up for a tendency to experience high levels of anxiety when faced with any change.
To follow:
past trauma and present threat
survival response
Pavlov conditioning
Stress diathesis vs hard wiring/genetics
Transitions in Childhood
Transitions in Adolesence
Transitions in adult years
